ok... so i haven't posted in a long time... but there are reasons...
i work hard and i play hard... and then there is the thing about all the indian weddings to attend. they are 4-5 days long each... mehendi parties, sangeets, chundadi and other ceremonies, the weddings themselves (and it's very common to have two, especially to satisfy both families if it's an interfaith wedding), and receptions... thinking back to december 13th in india (there were 36,000 weddings in dehli that day!!) many of them were arranged.
i have told this to people before (they may still think i'm nuts, but) to me, arranged marriages have a bad rep.
probably because they are confounded with "forced marriages", where parents choose a partner for their child based purely on family connections, caste, class, and social mobility created through the match. the match is usually made before the kids turn 10 years old! when it's time, they get married. no excuses.
conversely, the "arranged marriage" is a lot more civilized: the match uses the same selection criteria but the kids are introduced to each another, spend time together and ultimately get to choose whether to marry each other or to "veto" each other! there is some major pressure there, but who lives without pressure?!
when i tell you i'm ok with arranged marriages, most of you think i'm koo-koo. but to explain: the idea is for the parents to make the best possible connection in terms of security and family ties for the family, for their children and their futures. i understand that. and.... in my personal example, i get along with my parents! i like them. we don't always see eye to eye on everything. but i know, if we lived in a culture where arranged marriages were the norm, given the choice, my parents would choose very well for me.
of course, i say this, hoping they aren't reading this post! at least i hope not!!
check this out! if only it could be this simple!
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